The Power of Noticing
If my experience of the past few weeks are any indication, I’d guess that maybe you’re feeling a little rough around the edges right now.
As they say, life has been life-ing. Personally it’s been a frenetic and emotionally charged couple of weeks for me – and that’s before taking into account devastating natural disasters, the horrors of war and genocide, stress about the upcoming election, and even eclipse season.
Even writing that sentence feels like a lot!
I’m grateful because so much is still working, still going right. And also? I’m tired.
In the past, I used to worry that feeling tired was a state of being that would last forever. Like an unwelcome pit stop off the highway, once I arrived at ‘tired,’ I assumed I’d never leave.
This all or nothing thinking wasn’t just limited to my level of exhaustion.
I would notice my pants were tighter and immediately think: I will never wear those skinny jeans again.
I would feel overwhelmed at work and immediately think: I will never get out from under this pile of to-do’s.
I would feel stuck in a parenting struggle and immediately think: I will never resolve this.
One of the things that’s helped me step away from this cliff – that’s helped me relax during times of stress and upheaval – is to notice.
Specifically, to notice that each day isn’t like the day before.
Here’s an example: Thirty years ago I was in a car accident and severely injured my left foot. I was extremely lucky, and also – I have been dealing with chronic pain for most of my life.
For much of these 30 years, though, I avoided this pain. I don’t mean minimizing it. I’m talking about actually avoiding it.
Not thinking about it. Not feeling it. Not addressing it.
I think for a long time it felt safer that way. But after a recent re-injury, the pain got so bad that there was simply no way I could avoid it. So, instead I decided to get curious about it, and notice:
Notice the pain I was feeling.
Notice where it was located, and how it traveled.
Notice that sometimes it felt tingly, sometimes sharp. Sometimes it ached, and sometimes it burned.
Notice what it felt like before and after ice, medication, or rest.
Notice that some days were more painful than others – and that some days I wasn’t in pain at all.
What I learned was that there was no ‘absolute’ when it came to my pain. There was no black or white – only shades of gray. Only ebbs and flows.
It felt like an exhale. An exhale that I’ve been able to transfer over to my other fears and worries: about my tiredness, my workload and everywhere else.
If my pain can come and go, so can my tiredness. I can be tired today, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be tired forever. I can be overwhelmed or frustrated (or yes, even bloated) today – but that doesn’t mean I will be forever!
I find this realization deeply comforting in times of stress, which is why I want to offer it to you.
Don’t turn away from the pain, fear, or sadness you feel.
Turn towards it. Stay present. Get curious. Notice what’s here, and what isn’t. And do it all again tomorrow.
Where in your life have you been living in absolutes? What might be different if you stopped to get curious and notice the subtle shifts happening all around you?
