Finding 15 minutes
I had a revelation the other day, and I want to tell you about it.
First, let me set the stage: I work from home, and so does Dan. Two weeks ago, our 11 year-old, Eli, started middle school.
Except Eli goes to school online. At home. All day long.
This means that alone time during the day is very hard to come by.
Now I love my family, and I love being with them. And also: one thing I’ve come to know about myself is that I actually need regular quiet, alone time.
I used to believe this was a weakness. Like I was deficient in some way because I’d reach a point where I couldn’t ‘people’ any longer.
Now I embrace it. Because I’ve learned that when I give myself the gift of quiet, of peace, and yes, solitude, I feel better.
I feel better in the moment. I feel better when I’m with my family again. I feel better when I’m serving my clients.
All because I have learned to give myself something that I need. Something that feels good.
OK so back to the revelation: Last Wednesday afternoon, Dan and Eli left the house.
(While that alone was revelatory in its own way, it’s not what I’m talking about 🙂)
As I heard the car pull out of the driveway, I realized: I had the house to myself!
It had already been a long, productive workday, but I still had a few things on my to-do list. My former self would have pushed through, kept going, until that darn list was completely checked off.
But instead, I surprised myself (seriously!) and decided to take a break.
I went downstairs and collected a few of my favorite things: a handful of chocolate almonds, a Diet Pepsi, and my current book. I even paused to put a slice of lemon in my soda (IYKYK). And then I headed outside into the sunshine.
As I sat down at the patio table and popped open my soda can, a thought jumped out at me:
Am I allowed to do this?
I got curious about that question, and noticed that underneath it were so many other thoughts and questions…
Dan’s off parenting right now… Do I get to take a break when he’s still ‘working?’
I still have important work to do… Have I earned this rest?
No one has given me permission to take this break… Do I deserve it?
These thoughts were right there, just under the surface – and all it took for them to pop out was a few chocolate almonds and a good book.
One of the things I love most about the work I do – with clients, with teams, even in my art – is that I get to grow at the same time my clients do. My work grows me as a person. All the time.
And yet – even as someone who does this work for a living – my unhelpful thoughts, my limiting beliefs, my imaginary rules and the constraints that I didn’t even realize existed – they surprise me, too!
What are the hidden, under-the-surface beliefs and thoughts that keep you from giving yourself what you need?
In total, my break lasted for 15 minutes. I enjoyed my snack, read my book, felt the sun on my face – and noticed that I started to feel ready to go back inside and finish my work.
All it took was 15 minutes – for me to give myself what I needed.
And so that’s my challenge to you today: Take 15 minutes.
Spot a moment where you can pause.
Tune into what you need in that moment: a rest, a snack, some fresh air, something else?
Choose not to hurry.
Give yourself what you need. What will feel good to you.
As you do, notice the world around you: the smells, the sounds, the colors.
Savor the experience of meeting your needs in this way.
Exhale.
And, notice when your energy starts to shift, when you start to feel better or ready or restored. Because you will!
It only takes a few minutes. And it makes a world of difference.
Bonus points to you if you notice any beliefs, doubts or questions pop up unexpectedly in the process!
How will you take 15 minutes for you today? Hit reply and let me know what you choose.
Onward,
PS: If you’re looking to go deeper into this kind of reflection, check out Volumes 1 and 2 in my four journal collection, 100 Days of Designing My Life: The Reflection Journal.
Both volumes are chock full of stories and reflection exercises to help you spot your own hidden beliefs, get curious about them, and metabolize them so you can move forward with clarity and self understanding.
Volume 1: Inspire and Ignite Your Self-Discovery and Understanding
Volume 2: Define What Matters to You and Clarity Your Point of View