How I’m learning to trust myself
Last week I wrote about why trusting yourself is, I believe, the key that unlocks it all:
Your highest and greatest fulfillment
Your impact and service
Your leadership at home and at work
Not just because it allows you to evolve and grow into the best version of yourself.
But because it opens the door for the people you love and the people you’re in community with to do the same.
(Imagine a world where every single person inherently trusts themself to navigate life’s challenges, to use their voice for what they believe in, and to act in accordance with their values! It gives me goosebumps.)
Now that’s on a macro level.
On a micro level, I’ve been walking my own path toward deeper self-trust for almost a year, and today I thought I’d share what I’ve been doing and what I’m learning.
Not so you can copy what I do. But so that you might be inspired to embark (or keep going!) on your own self-trust journey, too.
Self trust can feel like an amorphous or abstract concept – like, it’s hard enough to define what it is, let alone know how you create it within you.
So first I want to lay out that self trust, as I define it, grows through four key activities:
DISCOVER: Learning about yourself and discovering (or rediscovering) who you are today
DEFINE: Defining what matters to you and clarifying your point of view about all aspects of your life
IMAGINE: Reconnecting with your creative imagination and giving yourself permission to envision your most aligned, authentic future
ITERATE: Being willing to try, experiment, and iterate – favoring regular and consistent action over radical, sweeping changes.
These activities are as much behaviors as they are mindsets – ways of seeing and holding ourselves through the deep, intentional work of coming home to our most authentic self.
My own DISCOVER journey has included a lot of learning about myself:
Seeing myself anew through the frameworks of Human Design and Astrology
Deepening my connection with my intuition through Tarot and Oracle decks
Paying attention to my own inner voice as she speaks to me (because, in fact, she does and has been for a while – I just didn’t want to listen!).
As I’ve opened up my curiosity to who I am and who I am becoming, I’ve been nudged (and sometimes pushed) to DEFINE new, updated or more truthful aspects about myself:
A more honest and complete understanding of my desires – and my boundaries – in relationships
A sincere acknowledgement of my need for deeper rest and more regular alone time
A true acceptance of my gifts and unique purpose in this world
This deeper self-understanding and honesty about myself has led me to feel ready to express myself more creatively – like the cork popping off a champagne bottle, my readiness to IMAGINE has skyrocketed:
Giving myself permission to go beyond incremental life change and envision what might be possible if I 10x’d my dreams
Honoring my creative urges to sketch, paint, and build – even/especially if it seemed to have no productive value or purpose
Visualizing, meditating on, and writing about Future Me, and beginning to embody her now.
Finally, I have held myself accountable to ITERATE. Loosening my grip and letting go of my need to have everything figured out before I start, or aiming for perfect results at the end – but instead to experiment:
Chunking big goals down into small pieces, and committing to doing one thing first
Starting before I felt fully ready or sure or confident (because, funny enough, confidence comes through doing something – not the other way around)
Pausing to reflect on what’s working and what’s not, so that my next step can be informed by my experience, my learning and my intuition.
And what’s been the result? As I have deepened my own self trust…
I’m working less, and working on the right things for me
I’m taking better care of myself
I’m advocating for myself more openly and honestly
I’m parenting more effectively
I’m feeling more connected to my body, and experiencing less inflammation
I’m feeling more relaxed, more ease and more flow
And, I’ll throw in – because this is an important part of life, too – I’m making more money, more easily, than I’ve ever experienced before.
Have I figured it all out? Of course not. There are still times I doubt myself, or mess up, or fall into old patterns.
So will you. And that’s ok. It’s to be expected.
But with these four activities, you can – and will – always find your way back. Which one are you inspired to try out today?
Onward,
PS: It’s no coincidence that my four-part journal collection, 100 Days of Designing My Life, centers around these four activities! If you’re feeling ready to dive in…
Discover (Volume 1) and Define (Volume 2) are available for purchase now!
Imagine (Volume 3) and Iterate (Volume 4) will be available in the next few weeks. Learn more about the whole series.