The Vulnerability of Growth
Let’s talk about signing autographs.
(My heart is racing and my palms are sweaty just typing that sentence!
Last week on a trip to California, one of my dearest friends presented me with a copy of my new reflection journal and asked for my autograph ✍🏻
As you can see here, I was thrilled.
But if I’m honest – I was also totally terrified.
I was smiling on the outside, but my insides were squirming with discomfort. As I sat down at the table, my hands started trembling, and tiny beads of sweat started to form. I felt like I might cry and throw up at the same time!
I’ve thought a lot about what a moment like this would feel like.
I thought signing copies of my book would be exhilarating.
And, let’s be real: it is! So much more than I could have imagined.
But it’s also really, really vulnerable for me. Because it’s forcing me to claim so much of myself that I’ve previously kept hidden…
Claim my talents and gifts.
Claim my success and achievements.
Claim my boldness and my dreams.
Claim my light and worthiness.
Holding my journal in my hands and owning that yes, I did this.
It’s thrilling and it’s also the sharpest growth edge I’ve ever stood on.
This is one of the most surprising things I’ve learned as I’ve gone after this dream:
The work doesn’t stop once you achieve it.
You have to deal with the feelings that come up, even after you’ve reached your goal. You have to allow yourself the time and space to metabolize your achievement, and to integrate this new part of you into your self-identity.
Looking back on this moment, I’m reminded of a favorite book, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.
In this book, Hendricks shares the idea that each of us has our own ‘set point’ – an internal limit, determined by our nervous system, that sets how much ‘goodness’ we can naturally handle in our lives.
Like the stereotypical Lottery winner who becomes an instant millionaire, only to lose their fortune soon after – if too much abundance floods our system at one time, we risk the possibility of unconsciously and unknowingly sabotaging ourselves. Hendricks calls this the Upper Limit Problem.
As I sat there signing my friend’s book, I knew I’d hit my Upper Limit.
So what’d I do? I returned back to my tools 🧰 Which means for the last week, I’ve been focused on:
Slowing down
Breathing
Journaling
Silence
Spending time outside
Water
Food that nourishes me
Asking for help
Sleep
Crying (seriously)
Because this is a goodness in my life that I want to integrate.
This is a success that I want to delight in and savor.
What are the growth edges you’re balancing on right now?
What ‘Upper Limits’ are you bumping up against?
I’d love to hear what this sparks in you.
Onward,
PS: Pre-orders are open for Volumes 2, 3 and 4 of my new reflection journal, 100 Days of Designing My Life!
When you purchase your Completion Set by June 30th, you’ll receive an invitation to join me at an exclusive, live coaching event I’m hosting on July 11th. Learn more and pre-order here.
