The Unexpected Gift of Feelings

The other day I started to cry in the kitchen – but I wasn’t sure why.

One moment I was calm and cooking dinner; the next I was welling up with tears.

My partner Dan was with me, and understably, asked me what was wrong?

“I don’t know,” I responded. “And that’s ok.”

It’s taken me a while – and a lot of intentional practice – to get to the point where I can feel my feelings without having to immediately attribute a cause or a story to it. 

In the past I would have tried to discern the “why” – what’s causing my feelings, and importantly, what can I do to stop them?

I would have tamped down my feelings ASAP, and brushed aside Dan’s concerns.

But I’m proud to say that this time, I allowed myself to ride the wave of my emotions – in this case, to have a big cry – without judgment or storytelling.

How often do you let yourself experience the fullest expression of your feelings? 

As children, many of us got the message that our emotions were too much for others to handle:

“You're just too energetic. Calm down!"

“Cheer up! Why are you always so blue?" 

We quickly learned that the only acceptable emotions we could display were ones that fell within a narrow band – a safe zone – and that everything else was off limits.⁠ 

But here’s the problem: When we limit our emotions, we limit our learning. 

That’s because emotions contain valuable clues from our bodies and hearts – alerting us when something needs tending to. 

Keeping our feelings in the safe zone means we lose the opportunity to tap into that intelligence, honor it, and act upon it.⁠

Take a moment today and reflect on the following:

• What did you learn when you were younger about expressing your emotions? 

• What’s one memory of a time you were taught that your emotions were “too much” for others to handle? How has that experience shaped the ways you do or don’t express your emotions today?

• Which emotions would you like to experience and learn from more fully?⁠ What’s important about that?

This week’s watercolor and reflection questions come straight out of Volume 1 of my new journal, 100 Days of Designing Your Life.

Almost 75 people have purchased copies of Volume 1 since it was published a few weeks ago! It’s been a true thrill to hear how the journal is guiding them to discover who they are and what matters to them

So if today’s prompts supported you, and you feel ready to dive into your own self-discovery, check out Volume 1: Discover – on sale now. 

Onward,