Becoming the person you want to be
Here’s something for you to think about:
Who are you at work? Who are you at home? Are they the same version of you?
When I first started working with a coach, I remember how hard it was to articulate my goals. I knew I’d lost confidence in myself and no longer trusted my ability to make good decisions for my work.
But when pressed to try to answer anything about what I wanted, the only thing that felt true was: “I want my work life to align with my real life.”
At the time I was a new mother with a very big job, and feeling completely stretched – like putty being pulled apart until only little wisps held the pieces together. Work was taking me in one direction, parenthood the other.
Years later, after working with my coach and working on myself, I now better understand what I meant when I said I wanted to feel aligned.
And it had everything to do with there being lots of different versions of me.
At the time, I felt like there was a Work Ashley, a Mom Ashley, a Wife Ashley. Three very important versions of me – yet none of them felt integrated.
Like an actor playing different roles, I shape shifted into each version of myself depending on the context of the situation or the needs of the people around me.
And I was very unhappy.
On the one hand, there was a part of me that wanted more variety in the roles I played. I longed for a Creative Ashley, an Athlete Ashley, a Rested Ashley and many others.
More than that, though, what I really wanted deep down was for there to be only one Ashley.
I wanted to be the same me, no matter the context. No matter the people I was with and who they wanted me to be.
This week I listened to an interview with a coach named Kari Granger. At one point the interviewer asks her about the secret to her success. What’s made it possible for you to grow your business while also finding such personal fulfillment? Her answer:
Who I am anywhere is who I am everywhere.
That’s it.
What might be possible for you if you could show up to all aspects of your life as one complete version of yourself?
If you put down the shape shifting and instead saw and felt the different parts of you become completely integrated?
I’ve still got ground to cover, that’s for sure. But as I compare the distance between where I stand today and how I felt all those years ago, I realize that my quest for alignment, for integration, is happening.
Who I am in most places is the version of Me I want to be.
We’re all works in progress, right? 😉
Where in your life do you feel the most aligned? Who do you want to be – anywhere and everywhere?
Onward,
PS: If you’re looking to take the first step toward true integration of all the versions of you, my new reflection journal can help. Volume 1: Discover is the perfect companion to support you as you explore who you are and who you are becoming… and it’s now available on Amazon!