What Happened When I Said No

Last Sunday I had to have a very tough conversation with a person I really care about.

I can’t share all the details, but suffice it to say, after months of saying Yes to the plans we’d made together, I realized I needed to say No.

I really wrestled with this decision, NAME, because I hate to disappoint people – especially this person. 

But as I returned home from a long vacation and stared closely at my calendar and my upcoming commitments, I realized that I had two options.

Option 1: I could ignore my inner warning bells telling me that this was too much to take on, and push myself to juggle all the things while sticking with the original commitment I’d made (and probably make myself sick in the process).

Option 2: I could choose instead to actually be honest with myself, acknowledge that my priorities have changed, and say the hard but true thing to advocate for myself and my needs.

What option would you choose?

If I’m honest, even a few months ago I think I would have stuck with Option 1. Again, making commitments and sticking with them is important to me – and this relationship means a lot to me.

And yet – this time, I chose differently. How’d that happen?

I actually credit the Spring cohort of the Coaching Circle – my small group coaching program – with helping me navigate this moment. 

In one of our calls we hosted a guest expert, relationship therapist Ashley Taggart, to help us understand and rethink boundaries. 

I’ll be honest, boundaries are the kind of thing I know I need, but usually roll my eyes at.

But the lightbulb switched on for me when our guest Ashley said, “Boundaries are the living, breathing expression of what we value.”

Boundaries aren’t about saying no or setting limits that negatively impact other people.

Boundaries are about saying YES to what I value. Saying YES to me.

This is one of the reasons why I love the Coaching Circle program as much as I do: the lessons keep paying dividends, even months after the conversation ends.

What’s more: as I’ve taken this new insight from the Coaching Circle and started to put it into practice, I’ve noticed a shift in my own sense of self:

✨I feel more tuned into my authentic desires and needs

✨I feel more connected to my inner knowing and resonance

✨I feel more confident in my voice and my ability to advocate for myself

✨I feel more grounded in the awareness that I am on my own side.

This is the power of bringing women together to have honest, real conversations about the deepest questions and topics of our lives.

When we talk about authenticity, purpose, impact, burnout, creativity, self-advocacy, worthiness – and yes, even boundaries! – we don’t just make changes.

We are changed.

Enrollment for the Fall cohort of the Coaching Circle is open, and I want to invite you to join us.
Are you ready to choose differently and say YES to a career and life that’s aligned with your values? I’d love to support you.

Onward,