The #1 Mistake I See Women Make

I’ll never forget it: I was 23, sitting on an airplane next to a complete stranger, when she said to me:

“Ashley, there will never be a good time to get pregnant.”

A bit of backstory: I was on a cross country flight and happened to be seated next to an older woman with big diamonds, big hair and a big personality. Amongst the clouds at 35,000 feet, she told me her life story, including the fact that she’d had children at a very young age.

Mind you: I wasn’t even dating anyone at the time.

So when she asked me when I planned to have kids, I answered that I had lots of other things to check off my list before I could move on to that milestone.

At which point she re-stated, “Ashley, there is no good time.”

Crazy enough, almost 20 years after our conversation, I think about this woman often.

Because hidden in this story is one of the biggest mistakes I hear repeated over and over again in my coaching practice:

I have to wait to say yes until…

So many of us – myself included! – fall into the trap of thinking that we need all our ducks in a row before we can say yes to whatever we know we want…

I can’t pursue my dream of becoming an artist until I know how I’ll make money.

I can’t start my job search until I know exactly what I want to do next.

I can’t get married until I have my finances in order.

And so we stay stuck, thinking we can’t make a change until we know exactly what we’re doing, in the right order, at the right time.

But let me remind you – just as my airplane seat mate reminded me:

There is never going to be a perfect time to make the change you want.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t hit ‘pause’ so we can hit ‘play’ on our goals.

Maybe it’s a holdover from our school days, when there was a clear end-of-the-school-year break. An official end giving way to a new beginning.

But life as an adult doesn’t work that way.

Family members get sick at the same time we take on a new, big project at work.

Cross country moves happen at the same time we’re planning a wedding.

And yes, even babies are born…no matter what’s happening in the world around us!

There will never be a good time to make the change you want for your work or life.

Instead, you just have to start. Take it one step at a time. Ask for support. Allow yourself to try.

Don’t let this belief that you have to wait hold you back from the thing you want.

Whether it’s a new job, a different career, writing a book, launching your side hustle, starting a family…

…don’t wait.

Because even if getting started feels risky, or like it’s too much to tackle with everything else going on –

I guarantee that NOT doing anything isn’t going to feel good either.

If you’re ready to stop waiting for the perfect time, and start taking action to change your career or life, let’s talk.

Learn more about how I help my clients make a plan and take steps toward meaningful, lasting change – and how I can help you, too!

Onward,

PS: another BIG mistake I see in high-achieving women? Thinking they need to do this on their own. 

In fact, the opposite is true: asking for help from a coach or other specialist is actually a sign that you’re ready to level up and add new tools to your toolkit!

So don’t let you ego or perfectionism get in the way of asking for support. Even Oprah has a coach – are you ready for one too?!