My Birthday Resolutions
Greetings from New York City, where my mom and I are taking a few days away for my birthday celebration in the Big Apple.
(I think I just lost all street cred by calling it the Big Apple. Or maybe by saying ‘street cred.’ Either way, there’s no way I pass as a local New Yorker, as much as I might try!)
Anyway… if you’ve been with me for a while, you know I make Birthday Resolutions every year, and this year is no different.
So, today I’m writing to you to share my intentions for 43.
Maybe they’ll inspire you to set your own, updated resolutions, too?
BIRTHDAY RESOLUTION #1: Slow down.
Like you, I’ve been swept up in the sea of Instagram posts and self-help gurus who tell us to rest, restore our nervous system, and resist the hustle.
All that’s well and good. But my resolution this year isn’t about taking naps or turning off my phone an hour before bedtime (although I’m doing that, too).
No, for me, slowing down means listening to – and honoring – the pace that I move at.
I’ve known for almost my entire life that my ‘gas tank’ isn’t as large as everyone else’s. That I move more slowly, that I have less capacity. And I’ve always seen this as a negative.
Why am I so tired?
Why can’t I keep up with everyone else?
Why can’t I handle as much as everyone else can?
Over the past year, I’ve started flirting with the idea that there isn’t anything wrong with this. With me.
I just move at a different pace: my own.
Which brings me to…
BIRTHDAY RESOLUTION #2: Stay with myself
With reflection I can see that one of my long-standing patterns has been to abandon myself in favor of other people’s needs and preferences.
Whether at work, or as a mom (or really in any other situation), I became very, very good at pushing myself and overcommitting – simply because I thought that’s what other people wanted.
For a very long time, I didn’t even realize I was doing this. Then, for another very long time, I could sense that I was giving too much, overextending myself – but I couldn’t stop. Exhausting myself to serve others was simply my default.
Sometime in the past year, though – almost like a switch being flipped – I decided I didn’t want to do this anymore.
This sounds obvious, but actually I don’t want to feel resentful or taken advantage of! I don’t want to bend over backwards and sacrifice myself!
I want to be on my own side. I HAVE to be on my own side.
Which leads to…
BIRTHDAY RESOLUTION #3: Say the honest thing
One of the scariest parts about slowing down, honoring my needs, staying on my own side and not self-abandoning is a clear, obvious conclusion:
I have to start being honest.
Honest about myself.
Honest about my relationships.
Honest about my visions and dreams, and my fears and anxieties.
Honest about what I can take on, and what I can’t.
Honest about what I’m willing to do, and what I’m not.
In order to step into a way of living and working that’s truly right for me, I have to say the thing out loud. Whatever “the thing” is.
So here goes:
My resolutions – really, my commitments – to myself over the next year are to slow down and honor my unique pace, to stay committed to myself (even/especially when it’s hard or uncomfortable) and to say what’s honest, for me, always.
Whether it’s your birthday or not, today is a GREAT day to consider (or revisit) the commitments you’re resolving for yourself.
What patterns and habits are you ready to put down?
What negative thoughts or beliefs will you let go of?
What truths about yourself are you ready to acknowledge?
I’d love to hear from you.
Onward,
PS: If you’re ready to commit to slowing down, staying with yourself, saying the honest thing – or anything else that matters to you – I would love to support you as your coach.
Submit your interest form and get on my waitlist. I have spots for new clients in April and May!