It’s Time to Listen to Your Inner Knowing

Have you ever known something wasn’t right, but you struggled to actually do anything to change it?

For me, it’s gluten.

I’ve known for a long time that gluten doesn’t suit me. I’m lucky that I don’t have an actual allergy, or even a clinical sensitivity to it.

But after one-too-many big pasta dinners, I started to notice that I wasn’t feeling all that well.

Creaky knees. Itchy skin. Low energy.

I’d resolve to take it out of my diet, and for a little while I’d see some benefits. But then I’d be at a restaurant and tempted to snack on the bread before our food arrived.

Or I’d be resentful of having to skip carbs, so I’d revenge-eat (I’m making that a word) my way through a pastry or other baked good.

(Including those beignets in New Orleans that I told you about last week!)

There are lots of places where we go against our inner knowing. 

Where we choose to do things that we know don’t suit us:

Ignoring the warning bells when our boss volunteers us to take on work that goes beyond our job description

Allowing our partner’s career decisions and trajectory to take priority over our own

Saying yes to yet another family obligation, even when we know we’re spent.

Even more confusing is WHY we do this.

If you’d asked me a couple of months ago: “Ashley, why do you keep eating gluten even if you know it doesn’t make you feel good?”

I would have replied defensively: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Because even if I knew deep down I was making choices that weren’t aligned with my inner knowing, I wasn’t ready to admit it.

Fast forward to today and I’m gluten free again.

Importantly, it’s not because I chose it for myself.

It’s because I chose to ask for help.

I got to a point where I finally decided I was fed up:

Fed up with feeling misaligned, unhealthy and out of balance.

Fed up with experimenting on my own.

Fed up with feeling like a failure when I inevitably relapsed (darn beignets!).

I started working with a functional medicine practitioner whose first to-do was getting a bunch of lab work done. And through that lab work, she confirmed: I have a problem with gluten.

By making a choice to get help, I created change for myself in two important ways:

First, I turned toward my inner knowing and I said “the quiet part” out loud. 

I told her I don’t feel well. I explained my symptoms. And in doing so, I gave oxygen to a truth that I’d been pretending wasn’t there. There’s so much power and authenticity in that.

Second, through working with a supportive practitioner, I confirmed that my inner knowing was RIGHT. 

I wasn’t crazy for connecting the dots between what I ate and how I felt. I went from feeling alone in my hypothesis to feeling equipped with data and resources to help me make a true, sustainable shift in my health.

And this combination – of finding a supportive, safe space to say what I know is true and to have it received and validated – has created a fast-moving wave of change in my behavior and in my outlook that’s surprising even to me. 

So today I invite you to consider: 

In what parts of your life are choosing to go against your inner knowing?

What’s the Why underneath that choice?

Who could you turn to for support, validation and accountability – so you can begin to show up for yourself differently?