It’s time to stop living strenuously
A few weeks ago, sitting at a brewery with my husband in Asheville, NC, I declared:
“I’m tired of living so strenuously!”
I knew, in my bones, the truth of that statement. I felt it in my weary muscles, my frazzled mind, and my tired heart.
It wasn’t that I was going through a particularly difficult or stressful time. In fact, when those words came out of my mouth, I was on a blissful mini vacation with Dan, celebrating our anniversary while my son was having his own perfect staycation (eg: extra screen time and pampering with his grandma). There was nothing immediate to lament or fix or strategize over.
No – living strenuously felt true to me not in the short term, but because of the long term.
I’ve been living the last 30+ years of my life way too strenuously.
Striving, pushing and forcing myself – for way too long.
Reaching and yearning and exerting myself – for way too long.
Suppressing, diminishing and overriding myself – for way too long.
And I don’t think I’m alone in this.
Our cultural narrative says that hard work is king, that rest is lazy, and that to get ahead anywhere, we have to out hustle everyone else.
We look around, see how hard and fast everyone is running, and assume that we’re the problem when we can’t keep up.
In my own life, this has looked like denying myself:
My needs
My truth
My heart
My inner wisdom
My creativity
My femininity
My passion
My gifts
Denying it all.
And instead choosing to live strenuously. To stamp out my uniqueness in favor of fitting in. To push myself beyond my limits because that’s what I thought ‘good’ looked like.
I’m done living strenuously, and I invite you to join me.
Are you in?
Today, reflect on these questions:
In what areas of your life have you been “living strenuously?” What is the impact it’s had on you?
What are the beliefs you hold – about yourself, about success, or about what ‘good’ looks like – that drive you to push yourself so hard?
What would it look like to live just 5-10% less strenuously in this area of your life? What’s one thing you could do today to relax your grip even slightly?
Onward,
PS: I am starting to book small group coaching and reflection workshops for the Fall and Winter! If you have a group (a book club, corporate affinity group, neighborhood networking group, etc) and would like to host me as your featured speaker, get in touch!
My go-to topics include: authenticity and self trust, using your values to guide your choices, and of course, how to stop living strenuously! Reply to this email and let’s talk about how I can inspire and support your community through a live workshop or facilitated session.