How to get unstuck
Last week someone I’m very close to confided in me that they feel stuck.
Specifically, stuck around work and money.
On the one hand, the job situation they are in is unsustainable. It’s not inspiring, it’s not engaging, and they feel there’s no room to grow. This is creating all sorts of problems for them: increased stress, decreased motivation, and a lack of direction that’s honestly soul-crushing.
Can you relate?
On the other hand, this is the highest-paying job they’ve ever had. They’re starting to enjoy not feeling stressed about money, and starting to dream about the opportunities their growing bank account will create for them and their family.
This is the reality of making a job change as an adult.
Unlike a recent grad starting out with a blank slate, when we want to make career changes we have to consider the constraints of the life we’ve created around us:
Family commitments
Financial obligations
Caregiving responsibilities
Balancing our goals with our partners’ goals… and the list goes on.
At this stage of our lives, finding a new job that ticks all the boxes isn’t as simple as updating our resume and throwing a bunch of cover letters out into the ether.
The last time I was in this position myself, I received some unexpected advice.
In fact, it was so counterintuitive, I resisted it at first. But once I got over my own disbelief and gave it a try, it changed everything for me.
Want to know what it was?
Focus on Joy.
Ok, ok – roll your eyes if you want. But then, hear me out:
When you are burned out, feeling stuck, and saddled with the weight of life’s tradeoffs – your first step must be to come back to Joy.
Simply put, there is no way you will solve this problem – let alone come up with creative potential options – when you are emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually depleted.
And yet this is exactly the state so many of us begin our job searches in!
So today I’m going to share the exact steps that I took. They’re a little out there, AND I am going to ask you to trust me enough to try it.
Here’s how it goes:
Think about the challenge you’re facing… the job you can’t wait to quit, the financial burden you feel, the burnout you’re dealing with. It could even be the heaviness you feel about being stuck. Got it in your mind?
Now visualize this challenge as an object – maybe it’s a heavy sack of rocks, a completely full backpack, or a stuffed garbage bag. What does this challenge look like to you?
Next I want you to close your eyes and imagine yourself taking this object and putting it somewhere. You could store it up high in your closet, stash it in your garage, or somewhere else.
[This is important: you don’t have to get rid of it. Just put it somewhere so you don’t have to carry it for a while. I promise: it’ll be there waiting for you when you’re ready to return to it.]
Have you imagined yourself putting it away? Ok, now we can move on.
Grab a pen and paper and make a list of 20 things that bring you joy. They can be big things (tickets to see your favorite musician) or small things (sitting on a park bench with a good book). There is no value judgment on what ‘counts.’ If it stirs a feeling of joy, warmth, awe, appreciation or love within you – write it down.
For the next four weeks, you are going to commit to doing 2 of these things each week. Take a look at your list and circle the ones you’ll do this week. Then open your calendar and schedule them.
That’s it – that’s the plan.
Returning to Joy might feel silly or trivial, but it is actually non-negotiable.
You cannot invite in or receive creative solutions if you are energetically or physically depleted.
After four weeks of focusing on your joy, I guarantee you will return to your ‘job problem’ with new creative reserves, fresh ideas, and a full tank of energy – all of which will help you accelerate your progress faster than if you’d just forced yourself to keep going.
Are you going to give it a try? I’m rooting for you
Onward,
