Making Room for Paradox

Gulp – tomorrow I’m turning 40!

How did that happen?

As I gear up for this new decade, I feel two extremes of emotions: excited anticipation at one end, and – if I'm honest – quiet sadness on the other.

How can that be?

To me, turning 40 means being grounded in who I am and what I offer. Comfortable and confident in my body, my mind and my value.

Forty also means taking informed, brave risks. Creating new habits, learning new things, and collecting wisdom that can inform my future.

Sign me up for all of that.

Yet forty also means I’m old enough to know loss – and to see and feel the heavy possibility of even more. 

It means reaching a new point in the arc of my life, not quite the apex – but not the very beginning, either.

Turns out I can be both excited and sad at the same time. 

Many of us love things to be black or white. Right or wrong. No grey area. No middle ground.

Embracing paradox, however, is an inevitable part of life – not to mention a key component for success.

When we say "No" or even "Yes, but," we're closing doors and shutting down the conversation. 

Yet when we can hold, at the same time, two seemingly contradictory things – when we can say, “Yes, and,” –  we create space for curiosity, connection and exploration.

That’s true whether we're exploring the many facets of our emotions, or trying to innovate in our work and careers.

Yes, 2020 was difficult – and it brought blessings. 

Yes, your feelings got hurt – and I was trying to do the right thing. 

Yes, turning 40 is an incredible gift – and it's the end of a very important chapter in my life. 

I once heard: “To be human is to live in contradiction.”

What paradoxes can you embrace today?

And how does that richer, more nuanced understanding of your world help you feel more clear about what to do next?

Onward,

PS: I’m 83 days into my 100 Days of Designing My Life art project – and my post from Day 80 has been the MOST popular by far. It’s all about creating space in your calendar for “me time.” Check it out and let me know how you’re creating space for yourself in your busy work week.