The Problem – and Opportunity – of Awkward

Confession time: I am a really bad dancer.

Sure, I can sway side to side. But follow actual dance steps? Yikes. 

Case in point: in 2020 as we transitioned into lockdown and attempted to live our entire lives within the confines of our homes, I found Dance Cardio.

I’d been a Peloton member for a while, but up to that point stuck mainly to running, yoga and cycling. 

But admittedly my routine was a little boring, and Dance Cardio looked FUN.

Instructors in colorful outfits bopping to energizing tunes and promising me I could burn calories and bump up my endorphins, just by following their simple dance steps? 

I was IN.


Ashley’s Note: before you get to the goodness that is hearing about what an awkward dancer I am… I want to make sure you know that my Coaching Strategy Intensive is designed to support you in doing the awkward stuff involved with career change. Read more and get on the waitlist. Now back to my bad dance moves…


That is, until I tried it. At which point I was almost immediately OUT.

I’m grateful to say there was no mirror in the spare room where I tried to ‘dance it out’ – if there had been, I’m not sure I would have survived the experience.

But even without seeing myself, I knew it was bad.

The instructors would happily demonstrate the steps, and it was like my brain and my body spoke a completely different language.

They’d go left and I’d go right.

They’d jump up and kick in the air, and I’d stay flat on my feet.

They’d make it look easy, and to me it felt everything but that.

The reality is that any kind of change – anything NEW, really – is awkward.

And this sucks for two reasons:

First, feeling awkward is awful. Physically, emotionally, it’s just weird and uncomfortable to feel weird and uncomfortable.

But feeling awkward actually has an even more insidious effect on us long-term: it makes us want to AVOID anything new. 

Because we know we’re likely to feel uncomfortable attempting to try something new, we decide to avoid it instead.

In a job search, this could look like only applying to jobs you know you could get, even though you also know your current line of work is unfulfilling.

In a relationship, this could look like not sharing your feelings or needs because asking for what you want requires you to say something vulnerable out loud.

In hobbies – an area that I know many adult women in particular struggle with – this could look like simply not being open to trying a new activity because you know you won’t be good at it.

This is a huge problem – and also a huge opportunity – for anyone who sincerely wants to make a career change in the months ahead.

A problem because it’s something we know is working against you.

An opportunity because it’s something we know is working against you.

That’s right: I believe knowing that the awkward stage is waiting for you is a GOOD thing. That’s because the sooner you get stuck into the mess of trying something new, the sooner you can cross to the other side.

Because here’s the truth: 

Unless you want to stay where you are – stuck, unhappy, unfulfilled, and sure, safe – you will have to try something new.

Explore new options

Ask for help

Put yourself out there

Raise your hand for new opportunities

Tell people how you’re feeling and what you’re looking for

And, in the beginning, it IS going to be awkward. And that’s more than ok.

It means you’re trying. You’re learning. You’re growing.

And that’s how change actually happens.

Onward,

 

PS: when was the last time you tried something new and felt awkward doing it? Reply and let me know so I can celebrate you!

PPS: If you want to try something new – and get support while you go through the awkward stage – I invite you to join the waitlist for the Coaching Strategy Intensive, my 4-week career coaching accelerator. Take it from Lauren, a CSI client who said, 

Ashley is a master in guiding you towards your most authentic self. I've never been one to ask for help but am glad I did; Ashley supported me in ways I didn't know I needed!

Learn more and join the waitlist to be notified as spots become available.

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The Power of a Prototyping Mindset

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My $250,000 Mistake