Being more ME in 2024
Last week I sat down at my desk, took a sip of the coffee I’d been nursing for a few hours, and drew a line straight down the middle of a page in my journal.
On the left side, I wrote the heading: What I’m Leaving Behind in 2023.
The list included:
Not being on my own side
Doubting myself
Playing small
Copying what other people do (or what they say I should do)
Making choices that don’t support or nourish me
On the right side, I wrote the heading: What I’m Bringing with Me into 2024.
This list included:
Ease and creative flow at work
Lots of rest and downtime
Discerning, loving boundaries that support me and my dreams for the year
Being more ME
That last one - being more ME - is an interesting one because it points to a split I’ve noticed between how I think I’m showing up, and what people actually see of me.
Most of my life I’ve prided myself on being an open book. Ask me anything, I often say – and mean it. From my highest highs to my lowest lows, I’ve never minded sharing my story.
But speaking aloud my story – especially when I know it will serve someone else’s learning and growth – is not the same thing as showing up as authentically Ashley in all aspects of my life.
I have my own edges, just like everyone else:
Smiling on the outside while making small talk with a dinner party guest – but on the inside wishing I could retreat to a quiet room and sit in silence for a moment.
Telling people I’m fine, I don’t need anything, I can handle it, when I know it’s not true.
Refusing to engage with or enjoy items, experiences, gifts and activities that I know would delight me – but seem trivial or outwardly superficial.
What would it look like for you to be more YOU in 2024?
When I look back on 2023, one of my proudest epiphany moments came when I realized I had an opportunity to start being radically honest.
About myself.
About my needs.
About my dreams.
About what I want to do – and what I don’t.
About who I want in my life – and who I don’t.
It’s scary. Actually, it’s terrifying.
And it’s also exhilarating. Liberating. Intoxicating.
(seriously, I’ve kind of gotten addicted to it!)
So for me, being more ME in 2024 looks like committing to be radically honest, in all its forms and permutations.
Being honest with myself
Being honest with others
Importantly, this also means not abandoning myself when my radical honesty bumps up against who I think I should be, or who I have been in the past.
Which, again, feels terrifying. And also beautiful.
Like the most beautiful gift I could give myself and the people who love me.
So that’s what I’m taking into 2024: a beautiful gift of radical self-honesty, a commitment to staying with myself (even when it’s easier to run away), and looking for ways to bring more of my full, whole self into everything I do.
And now it’s your turn – what are you leaving behind in 2023, and what are you bringing with you into 2024?
I’d love to hear from you, if it feels right. Either way, know I am celebrating your choices and intentions!
Wishing you and your loved ones all the best in the remaining hours of 2023 and into the new year.
Onward – with love, hope, and of course, honesty –
