What if this could be easy?
This weekend my insides felt like pieces of scattered dust, just after you kick up a big foot-full of dry dirt on a hot afternoon.
Sounds dramatic, I know. But it’s true.
The thing about change is that we can say we want it.
Say it, shout it, sing it, declare it – that part is easy.
(Which is crazy, actually, because sometimes even just saying out loud the change we wish for can feel monumental and scary and huge.)
But the real test – the really scary part – is actually believing we can do it.
Changing my beliefs makes me cranky.
It all started with a question:
What if this could be easy?
This question, at first, was so simple, so elegant – that it took my breath away.
I was reading a book about having an Abundance mindset. Where there is enough to go around. Where money and love and generosity flow.
Where things can be easy, even effortless.
Sounds lovely (but did I believe it?).
Here’s the deal: I work hard.
I work hard and I’m proud of that. I derive a lot of satisfaction from my hard work. My hard work produces great results.
I believe these things – and I know they are true.
But I realize now there are other beliefs about hard work I’ve been holding onto – ones that actually aren’t true:
Great results can only come from working really hard.
I have to work hard if I want to be successful and make money.
Hard work is how I show value.
Hard work is how I measure my self-worth.
Wow. There’s some real subconscious BS in there.
I’ll be honest, these are beliefs I didn’t even realize I held.
Beliefs I never stopped to question or examine if they were actually true.
Beliefs I now know have been holding me back. Restricting what I can create. Sabotaging my success.
I read some more. Confided in people I trust. Cried while exercising. Journaled.
What if this could be easy?
Saying we want change is different than believing we can actually do it.
Unpacking and questioning our long-held beliefs is scary and exposes our blindspots.
And unfortunately there aren’t any quick fixes.
Day in and day out, we have to practice shifting what we believe – and reinforce those shifts through our behavior.
When I was a kid, I used to hate getting dirty. I hated the residue of beach sand on my hands, or the feeling of dried mud on my feet.
Even today I love coming home and washing my hands – the feeling of removing the day’s film and only clean, dry skin remaining.
Changing what we believe – or more appropriately, aligning our beliefs to support the change we wish for – is not a quick hand washing.
Instead, it’s about surrendering to the dirt: the confusion and inner chaos that, just like a dust cloud, needs time to settle.
This is uncomfortable.
But if we want to live a life that’s fulfilling to us, we have to choose the beliefs that support us to get there.
And let go of the rest.
What if this could be easy?
Onward,
