Don’t go it alone. Do this instead. (Week 3)
“So… what’s your plan?”
If your graduation experience was anything like mine, you got asked this question a lot. Like, a lot a lot. At grad parties, by your parents’ friends, by well-meaning strangers who saw your “Class of 2003” bumper sticker in the grocery store parking lot…
(Or was that just me?)
And if your graduation experience was anything like mine, this question still provokes a mix of ick, pressure, and hives – all at once.
I hated this question because it only dialed up the pressure I already felt – had already put on myself – to FIGURE IT OUT.
Specifically, to figure it out by myself. After all, it was MY plan they were asking about. Wasn’t I alone responsible for coming up with it?
Don’t get me wrong: when we’re designing our careers and lives, it’s vitally important that we turn inward, reconnect with our inner compass, and come to our own conclusions about what’s next.
But to expect that we should do it all alone is a recipe for burnout, stress and failure.
That’s why this week we’re getting out of our heads and into the world. For inspiration, for ideas, for insights. Heck, for companionship.
Because you don’t need to do this alone.
Week 3 is about opening yourself up to wisdom and learning that you can’t always see clearly. By doing so, you’re not only getting smarter about who you are and where you shine, but you’re strengthening your bonds with people in your support network (which these days is more important than ever).
Start by thinking about 3-4 people that you trust. They can be family members, friends, classmates or colleagues. While it doesn’t matter who they are, they do need to meet the following criteria:
Your relationship with them is strong enough that it feels safe to you to ask them for feedback
They are not so invested in your choices that they might (unknowingly) try to sway you into their choice for you.
Basically, safe enough to talk to openly, but not so involved that they can’t be objective. Got those names in your head?
This week you’re going to reach out to those folks and ask them for a 15 minute conversation. It could be over coffee, or a walk and talk on the phone. You could even text them!
And you’re going to start by asking them ONE question.
What do I do better than 9 out of 10 people?
You might know what you’re great at… but do you know where you really shine? Do you know the impact you have on people when you’re at your best? Or what people remember you for?
This question opens your eyes to the places where people observe your natural gifts – simply by being you.
After you ask this question, your job is just to listen.
You do not need to agree with their answer. You do not need to adopt their solutions. Instead, stay curious. Tease out their answers with, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “What about this seems especially valuable/important/memorable to you?” See where the conversation goes and be sure to take notes.
After speaking with a few people, you’ll likely start to notice patterns. At this point, you might even feel inspired to reach out to a few more folks to gather a few more responses.
Then, step back and look at the themes that have emerged. What do you see clearly now that you couldn’t see before? What have you discovered about yourself – and how might you incorporate that learning into your plan for what’s next?
📧 Email and share with me one thing you’ve learned about yourself by asking this question (ashley@wayfinderscollective.com).
💡 Live in Washington, DC and free on Tuesday night? Join me at Design Thinking: DC where I’m leading a workshop called Designing Your Life (AKA: Your Most Meaningful Design Challenge is You).
🙌 Get personalized help designing your next career and life plan with me! Learn more here. I have two open spots for clients in June.
Next week, in Week 4 of our Life Design Sprint, we’re moving out of discovery mode and into defining – where I’ll guide you to get clear on where you’re starting, and outline where you’re heading next. I can’t wait!
Onward,
